Things I've Done II

about : short

Here are some work or career things I’ve done:

• Added up rows of numbers all day long
• Tightened thousands of bolts to the right torque
• Denailed 10,000 old floor boards
• Explored for nickel
• Marked out and registered land leases
• Dug holes at 125 degrees fahrenheit
• Operated cooling-beds at even higher temperatures
• Produced 1000 windscreen wipers a night
• Produced tons of foam padding
• Dipped 1000s of metal objects in acid
• Loaded many hundredweights of dog food

• Worked 14 hours a day 7 days a week on an Australian building site
• Been a bus conductor (Remember them?)
• Washed, bathed and wiped bums of 1000s of patients
• Served 1000s of customers in ironmongery and hardware shops
• Waited on 1000s of customers in a pub
• Tried to sell vacuum cleaners
• Delivered millions of paracetomol, bin bags and brush steels
• Delivered 100s of 3-piece suites
• Stacked 1000s of fire doors
• Fitted 100s of doors
• Re-corded 100 sash windows
• Decorated 100 rooms
• DJ'd and organised fund-raising discos for various charities
• Wrote lots of rhymes and was a (awful) rapper
• Befriended the homeless, socially isolated and disabled
• Got a 1st class degree in Communication Studies when I was 45
• Taught myself computers
• Helped 100s of elderly people with basic computer literacy
• Fixed up old PCs for charity
• Designed a revolutionary helpdesk interface
• Designed a few personal websites
• Answered 100 calls a day on a helpdesk
• Trained insurance agents to use new software
• The last two were by far the best-paid and cushiest jobs I ever had but were 3-month contracts only. Let me know if you have a cushy job just right for me!

Posted by Peter 11 Nov 05